Affiliate links on our site may earn us commissions. Learn More.

This website uses cookies. By continuing to use this website you are giving consent to cookies being used. Visit our Privacy Policy.


Discover The Best Wellness Tips In Your Inbox

Subscribe to Health Reporter’s newsletter and get our health experts’ highlights and the latest news about healthy living.
The newsletters are spam-free and sent from our health experts and professionals.

Thank You!

You have successfully subscribed to our newsletter!
Home arrow Health arrow Mental Health arrow Why Am I Such a Loser? 5 Tips to Make a Change

Why Am I Such a Loser? 5 Tips to Make a Change

Written by Edibel Quintero, RD
Fact checked by Rosmy Barrios, MD
Last update: October 8, 2023
5 min read 1410 Views 0 Comments
clock 5 eye 1410 comments 0

Feeling like a loser can quickly drain your self-confidence and take its toll on your mental health. If you feel this way, taking action and tackling these negative thoughts is important. In this article, we bring you tips to boost your self-esteem and regain control of your life.

why am i such a loser

Most people have feelings of self-doubt from time to time. Sometimes, you might be your own worst enemy. No human being is perfect, and there is always room for self-development.

While you can practice positive thinking, sometimes you might struggle to overcome intrusive thoughts that wreak havoc on your self-esteem. Day-to-day life can get on top of you, and it can feel impossible to take control of your own life, no matter what you do.

Constant negative feelings can diminish your self-worth and make you feel like a loser. If you don’t take action, your feelings may worsen, hindering your progress in various aspects of life.

Keep reading as we discuss why you might be feeling like a loser and steps to make you feel confident again.

Why Am I Such a Loser?

Many things can make you feel like a loser. It’s a mindset that typically develops from a strong focus on negativity and an inability to see the bright side of life. If these feelings continue, they can destroy your sense of self, promote selfishness, and lead you to resent others’ success. 

Various factors can trigger you to feel unhappy with yourself. Perhaps you have had to deal with one failure after another, from your career to your love life. You might feel like almost everything in your life is wrong. Once this mentality takes hold, it can be difficult to overcome.

However, it doesn’t have to be this way. There are many ways to lose your loser mentality and start viewing the world more positively.

How Not to Be a Loser: 5 Actionable Tips to Help You

Making a change is the first step toward feeling like a winner and leaving those negative feelings behind. The sooner you realize that changing how you think about yourself is possible, the sooner you can stop feeling stuck and start living a more fulfilling life.

Are you ready to improve your well-being and quit feeling like a loser?

Here are 5 things you can try.

#1 Take control of your actions

While you can’t always control what is happening around you, you can manage your own actions. Rather than letting aspects of your life consume you, why not take steps to regain control? You can do this by setting realistic goals that you can prioritize to ensure progress.

Practicing self-control can help you feel better about yourself, especially if it helps you reach your goals. It’s worth mentioning that trying to rule too many areas of your life isn’t always possible. Try focusing on one or two things so you don’t feel bad when things don’t go your way.

You could try dedicating your time to getting good grades, looking for a new job that you enjoy, or improving your fitness by working out 4 days a week. If financial difficulties are causing you to feel inferior, try and implement a realistic plan that helps you save money.

#2 Don’t compare yourself to others

Comparing yourself to others is detrimental to psychological well-being as it can result in low self-esteem. While it’s easy to look at successful people and deem yourself not good enough, it is essential to stop comparing yourself if you want to make progress and stop being a loser.

Instead of turning your attention to others, try comparing yourself to the past version of yourself. Doing so allows you to reflect on your progress and see how far you have come. It can help you recognize your strengths and motivate you to work hard on bettering yourself.

#3 Seek support from someone who cares about you

People who feel like losers may isolate themselves from social situations out of fear and anxiety. However, spending time with friends and family members is a great way to boost your self-esteem, as good friends will always see your positive qualities and help you feel good.

Moreover, sharing your thoughts with others can help you gain new perspectives that help you switch your negative mindset to a more positive one. When you’re stuck on your own, situations can feel more of a big deal. It can take others to help you view your situation differently.

If you’re not ready to talk openly with multiple people, spend time with just one close friend.

#4 Start journaling

Journaling is a simple, effective therapy for improving your mental health. Writing down your feelings on paper can help you better understand your thoughts. It can help you identify patterns in your behavior and discover possible triggers that make you feel like you’re a loser.

With this information, you can take action in the future. For example, once you determine triggers that negatively impact your mood, you can take preventative measures to mitigate these feelings or find coping techniques to prevent them from taking over your mind in the future.

Of course, some people prefer journaling via digital means rather than pen and paper. Various mental health apps are an excellent choice if you want to create a thought catalog on your phone. Most of the apps include a mood journal that allows you to track your daily mood and view your progress.

#5 Try therapy

Aside from talking to friends and family, you can also seek professional help to deal with your feelings of inadequacy. A therapist can help bring you out of your comfort zone and get you talking about things like trauma that you might not be comfortable talking about to those closest to you.

You can try many forms of therapy, including face-to-face and online therapy sessions. It will allow you to open up and discuss the reasons why you’re feeling like a loser. Therapy can also help identify if your feelings stem from a possible mental illness like depression.

5 Signs That You Are a Loser

Losers have some common traits. Generally, they are negative attributes that make success difficult and progress in life a chore. If you recognize these characteristics in yourself, you might want to consider taking action.

Here are 5 traits a person considered a loser may have:

#1 Blaming others

Only losers refuse to take responsibility for their own actions. When you blame others for your problems, you remove the opportunity to learn and grow from your mistakes. This can make it difficult to move forward with your life and hinder any efforts to better yourself.

#2 Constant negativity

You’re never going to feel positive if you don’t clear your head of negativity. Constant criticism and cynical thoughts can become a habit that is difficult to shift. Managing negative thoughts and choosing to stay positive can help you better manage your circumstances.

#3 Lack of ambition

A lack of ambition and unwillingness to change your circumstances can leave you stagnant. You might feel a sense of entitlement and rely on others to make things happen for you. However, only you can change your life and make decisions that will set you up for success.

#4 No self-awareness

When you lack self-awareness, you can fail to recognize your feelings and how they affect your actions. You might be oblivious to your behavior and how it affects the world around you. Improving self-awareness can aid self-development and help you reflect on your behavior.

#5 Gossiping

Not everyone means to cause harm through gossip, but gossiping is an unhealthy trait that brings emotional distress to others. Some individuals use gossip to form an image of others and themselves and often struggle with low self-confidence and trouble with self-image.

A Word From a Psychologist

Many people feel like losers when things don’t go their way. It’s not a nice feeling, and these persistent thoughts can affect your day-to-day life.

Poor mental health can fuel your mind and body with negative energy, making it even more difficult to alter your situation and improve self-perception. Certain health conditions can also cause you to have low self-esteem, such as anxiety, depression, and personality disorders.

You may need to discuss how you feel with your doctor for professional advice. In the meantime, you can try to improve how you view yourself with some simple steps. First and foremost, you must take care of your mental and physical health with some healthy habits.

Poor nutrition can contribute to low mood, so you should try to eat a balanced diet. Exercise is also important for boosting mental well-being. Try going for morning walks or going to the gym twice per week. Practicing meditation and stretching are other ways to calm your mind.

You should prioritize sleep, practice gratitude, and find something you feel passionate about.


Life isn’t always easy, and self-image issues can significantly interrupt our lives and distort our reality. If you’re feeling like a loser to the point where you can’t shift your low mood, it’s vital to start actively making changes to transform your mindset.

Written by Edibel Quintero, RD
Edibel Quintero is a medical doctor who graduated in 2013 from the University of Zulia and has been working in her profession since then. She specializes in obesity and nutrition, physical rehabilitation, sports massage and post-operative rehabilitation. Edibel’s goal is to help people live healthier lives by educating them about food, exercise, mental wellness and other lifestyle choices that can improve their quality of life.
The article was fact checked by Rosmy Barrios, MD
Was this article helpful?
Thank you! We received Your feedback
Written by Edibel Quintero, RD
Fact checked by Rosmy Barrios, MD
Last update: October 8, 2023
5 min read 1410 Views 0 Comments

Leave a comment

Thank you for your comment!
We will review it as soon as possible.
Your Name
Missing required field
Your Comment
Missing required field