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Home arrow Health arrow Mental Health arrow How to Stop Overthinking in a Relationship Using These 10+ Tips

How to Stop Overthinking in a Relationship Using These 10+ Tips

Written by Edibel Quintero, RD
Fact checked by Rosmy Barrios, MD
Last update: October 8, 2023
9 min read 1169 Views 0 Comments
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Sometimes, those anxious thoughts don’t go away. They can leave you questioning everything about your relationship, but how do you stop this? We provide 8 strategies to stop overthinking, including common reasons that may be causing your worry.

how to stop overthinking in a relationship

One thing people might struggle with in relationships is overthinking. 

Your mind is constantly racing with thoughts about the past or future. This, along with a lack of trust, could cause challenges. Overthinking is the reason for your emotional distress, so it’s important to face this problem head-on when building a healthy relationship. 

Gaining peace of mind won’t be a simple task. It requires positive habits that improve things like anxiety, jealousy, and insecurity. To maintain happiness in your current relationship, gain control over your mental health by following some simple strategies.

In this article, you’ll discover 10+ ways to stop overthinking in a relationship. 

10+ Ways to Stop Overthinking in a Relationship

  1. Share your thoughts with your partner
  2. Try to stay positive
  3. Create your own rituals
  4. Practice mindfulness
  5. Try journaling
  6. Go for a run
  7. Be present
  8. Do not let others dictate your relationship
  9. Prioritize yourself
  10. Stay away from social media
  11. If nothing helps, seek therapy

How to Stop Overthinking in a Relationship? 10+ Strategies that Might Help

No amount of relationship advice can shake those negative thoughts. You need to focus on personal fulfillment and underlying anxiety that might affect intimate relationships. Both you and your partner should address overthinking and practice clear communication. 

Here are 11 ways you can stop overthinking in a romantic relationship:

#1 Share your thoughts with your partner

There might be times when a past relationship stirs your thoughts in the present moment.

Of course, this is mentally draining, especially when you struggle to openly communicate. It’s normal to feel anxious and worried in a new relationship. However, keeping those anxious thoughts to yourself is unhealthy, so try to share any current problems with your partner.

Start by expressing your own thoughts and how they feed your root fears. They could be associated with cheating, body image, or falling out of love. Your partner’s body language should show that they’re interested and willing to listen to your important points.

#2 Try to stay positive

Staying positive when thinking about the worst-case scenarios can sound challenging. It’s important to note that feeding your mind with negativity will only cause negative outcomes. Overthinking stems from those thoughts, so think about great things in your personal life. 

Some ways to stay positive and eliminate that bad mood include treating yourself, cracking jokes with your partner, looking back on happy memories, and spending time with close friends. Avoid those “what ifs” and focus on building a happy relationship in the long term. 

#3 Create your own rituals

Personal rituals help to build structure in your daily routine. 

You could wake up and read for 30–60 minutes to create a relaxed mind. Other people might go for a long-distance run in the morning to increase endorphin levels. These rituals depend on what you enjoy doing and how much time you have to maintain a regular habit. 

#4 Practice mindfulness 

Practicing mindfulness could help to improve your long-term mental health. There are several things you can do to gain an outside perspective on negative feelings. For example, you might take a few moments every evening to appreciate your relationship and happy memories. 

If you need more guidance, many mental health apps can offer various mindfulness techniques for calming the mind. Using such tools, you could learn to take control of thoughts, emotions, and decisions. Over time, you won’t feel the need to overthink things when it comes to your relationship. 

#5 Try journaling

Not everyone can be vocal with their thoughts and feelings.

This is why journaling could be a great option when writing down relationship problems. You’ll have the chance to write about root fears or how unclear communication is difficult to avoid in real life. Spend time journaling and always express your thoughts in a peaceful setting. 

Of course, what you write is personal, but it may help to show your present partner. If your partner cares, they’ll feel more obliged to support any underlying issues. A good relationship is about communication and not taking things personally during mental health concerns.

#6 Go for a run

One study found that exercise can release feel-good hormones. These hormones may reduce feelings of anxiety and panic. If you start overthinking one day, go for a morning run to clear your mind, as those endorphins will work quickly to eliminate any anxious thoughts. 

Another great thing about running is that you’ll stay busy. Being distracted leaves no room for overthinking, which is very healthy for building romantic relationships. People overthink when they have lots of time, so they run on a treadmill or run outside to enjoy natural views. 

#7 Be present

There’s nothing worse than zoning out and becoming distant. Any relationship expert will say that emotional distance only pushes your partner further away. You need to ground yourself and live in the present moment, as this ensures you’re taking responsibility for your thoughts.

Certain things can bring you back into reality. These might be trying meditation techniques, taking deep breaths, spending time with family members, and noticing your surroundings. Think about what makes you happy in the relationship and focus on that positive feeling.

A serious conversation requires both parties to be completely open. Discuss why you’re feeling anxious and how your thought pattern seems to focus on the worst possible outcome. Try to talk about the present time instead of constantly referring to the past or future.

#8 Do not let others dictate your relationship

People can have too many opinions when it comes to relationships. 

Hearing different answers to your problems could take away more clarity instead of giving it. Close family and friends can share their views but try to avoid taking their opinion home. After all, any relationship concerns should stay private and personal to your partner as well.

Remember that negative words from other people will only feed your brain and make you feel uneasy. Even a dating coach would recommend couples to only share their thoughts with each other. You might be worried about the same things and eventually figure it all out.

#9 Prioritize yourself

Taking care of your mental health first is very important. Instead of focusing on your relationship, think about ways to calm emotional thoughts. Sometimes, people forget about their own health in relationships, so prioritize changing your long-term mindset to have a better life. 

#10 Stay away from social media

Social media is one of the most dangerous places to be when you’re overthinking certain relationships. There are many articles that could encourage you to start worrying about random problems. Scrolling through social media platforms should be the last thing you do.

One study proves that social media links to body dissatisfaction and poor self-image. Lacking confidence could make you feel insecure with a new person. This is when those thoughts start to build up over time, causing the mind to constantly revert back to the worst-case scenario.

To avoid falling into this negative habit, put your phone down regularly. You could even have dedicated hours where social media is not allowed. Talk to your partner about building this healthy routine together, as you could feel more confident about opening up properly.

#11 If nothing helps, seek therapy

Of course, therapy isn’t for everyone, but it might be your last option.

Feeling insecure could be more about your self-image rather than the relationship. There is always a hidden meaning behind negative emotions and thoughts. It might help to seek therapy to see if it helps, even if the idea sounds intimidating at first.

Therapists are there to help you and not just your relationships. You can give a few examples of your common thoughts and why they drag you down every day. Couples counseling is another option for people who need to rebuild their connection and communication skills.

What Causes Overthinking in a Relationship?

Overthinking is usually a sign of not understanding your own needs. There is no magic book that dictates the perfect relationship, so it might be hard to think of positive outcomes. Also, overthinking shows that you care deeply about the other person.

There are many common reasons for overthinking in a relationship. It depends on your past experiences and mental well-being. For example, someone who didn’t receive compliments from the most recent partner could feel insecure, resulting in more negative thoughts.

You should think about triggers that may cause you to overthink. These might be unintentional arguments or long periods of not talking. Learning more about what makes you anxious could help prevent toxic situations, so always make a note of these reasons.

Is Overthinking Toxic in a Relationship?

No, feeling worried is not always toxic, but overthinking can lead to toxic actions. For example, if you overthink about your partner cheating, you might suddenly get angry. This can make the person feel upset and unable to communicate with you properly.

A self-fulfilling prophecy means your actions and behaviors make something come true. You could fear arguing with your partner, which already creates a tense environment. Because of this, arguments are more likely to happen when you’re not communicating issues properly.

Relationships can become toxic very fast. Instead of acting on your fears, take a deep breath and think about what you really wish to achieve. Do you want to avoid bad arguments? If so, keep communication open and calmly talk about feelings with your trusted partner. 

Why Do I Overthink Relationships? 

The common reason could be insecurity and jealousy. It just depends on your experience in past relationships. Someone who has been cheated on might think about that situation happening again, which leaks into other healthy relationships in their life. 

People find it easier to build walls that protect them from getting hurt. This is especially true in healthy relationships that might not seem real at first. You’re constantly thinking about things that could go wrong, which results in excessive overthinking and worrying thoughts.

Try to focus on the good in your current relationship. That person is with you for a reason and feels comfortable enough to be completely open. Instead of considering negative outcomes in the relationship, discuss exciting things about your future or the happiest memories.

Can Overthinking Ruin a Relationship?

Yes, overthinking may drain your partner’s and your mental well-being. You could become distant and cause the other person to feel less connected. It’s important that you openly communicate negative feelings to avoid ruining the romantic connection.

Don’t forget that feeling worried can be normal in a fresh relationship. However, the way you act and speak can determine whether the person really wants to stay. Lashing out constantly because of worrying thoughts can push your partner away and cause severe distance.

To avoid ruining anything special, arrange suitable times to discuss sensitive topics with your partner. Creating a comfortable space to openly talk about problems will strengthen the bond. A healthy relationship needs honesty, communication, loyalty, respect, affection, and trust.

A Word From a Psychologist

Sometimes, whether you’re single or not, it’s challenging to avoid negative thoughts from overtaking the mind. Preparing yourself for the worst is often easier than feeling happy. However, improving your mental health requires positive changes and reinforcements.

You could talk to a licensed marriage or family therapist about certain problems. Mind reading isn’t possible, so it’s important to vocally express your concerns. If you’re in a relationship and feel scared to lose your partner, talk to them about ways of reducing emotional stress.

Even simple things like morning walks or stretching exercises could raise your mood for the upcoming day. Overthinking shouldn’t be something that takes control of your mental and physical health. Take small steps and always communicate problems with your partner.

Remember –  if you need to talk about personal problems, don’t be afraid to seek out a therapist.


Overthinking in a relationship with your partner can be normal. You might feel scared to lose them or experience something traumatic. However, doing certain things like meditation and sharing your thoughts can prevent overthinking from damaging your current relationship.

Written by Edibel Quintero, RD
Edibel Quintero is a medical doctor who graduated in 2013 from the University of Zulia and has been working in her profession since then. She specializes in obesity and nutrition, physical rehabilitation, sports massage and post-operative rehabilitation. Edibel’s goal is to help people live healthier lives by educating them about food, exercise, mental wellness and other lifestyle choices that can improve their quality of life.
The article was fact checked by Rosmy Barrios, MD
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