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BPD Favorite Person: What Does This Attachment Mean?
Mental Health

BPD Favorite Person: What Does This Attachment Mean?

HR_author_photo_Edibel
Written by Edibel Quintero, RD | Medically reviewed by Medically reviewed by Rosmy Barrios, MD check
Published on January 7, 2023
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8 min

Growing attached to someone else is normal, but there comes a point when behaviors turn obsessive. People with BPD usually have a favorite person, but what are the signs? We explain a BPD favorite person relationship and how it can damage your mental health.

BPD favorite person
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Do you have a favorite person that you can’t spend time away from?

People with borderline personality disorder tend to form an attachment to those who show deep love and support. This could be a best friend or close family member. Regardless, having a favorite person is unhealthy, so it’s important to look out for the common signs of attachment. 

There are ways you can cope without seeking constant attention. Some people hate living in constant fear when it comes to abandonment or trust issues. If you want to avoid choosing a favorite person in your life, it’s important to monitor your BPD symptoms over time.

Read our article now to learn more about a BPD favorite person relationship. 

What Is a BPD Favorite Person?

A BPD favorite person means that people with a borderline personality disorder will define someone they know as the most important. They might need constant reassurance, extra daily support, affection for emotional regulation, and no physical or mental boundaries.

Feeling happy by someone’s presence and communication is normal, but going to extreme lengths to keep them in your life can be alarming. Anyone with BPD cannot live without their favorite person and might perform self-destructive behavior just to get their attention. 

During vulnerable moments, those with BPD will need support from their favorite person. Not getting this reassurance could lead to meltdowns and aggressive actions. The attachment is so strong that the person with BPD could make threats just to keep people in their life. 

A study found that borderline personality disorder causes heightened feelings of insecurity and low self-worth. People with BPD need someone to heal their intense emotional pain. Forming a close attachment is the only way to feel loved and not feel like a loser among the general population. 

It’s important for the favorite and BPD person to have other close friendships. A person with BPD should explore other relationships to avoid feeling jealous. Studies prove that having a small group of close-knit friends can improve your mental health and provide personal comfort.

What Is BPD?

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health disorder that negatively impacts the way you feel and react to others. You might suffer from emotional instability, low self-worth, serious insecurity, impulsive behavior, and strong depressive episodes. 

People with BPD can face a range of problems in their lives. This includes self-image issues that stem from hidden anxiety and can make managing emotions very difficult for some. You could have an intense fear of abandonment when it comes to being around close people. 

A study proved that this fear is a core symptom of BPD. Being alone isn’t an option for those with BPD, so they act impulsively and aggressively for their favorite person’s attention. Naturally, this negative behavior will push people away, even though that’s not what they want to do. 

Borderline personality disorder can stem from childhood trauma or young adulthood. The condition might get better with age, but that solely depends on the person. People can receive treatment to manage their symptoms and learn to set healthy boundaries in their life.

Here are some signs of BPD:

  • Rapid mood changes
  • Constant threats of suicide or self-harm 
  • Ongoing feelings of emptiness
  • Paranoid thoughts 
  • Intense fear of abandonment 
  • Dangerous behaviors
  • Poor self-image 
  • Extreme anger problems 
  • Depression and anxiety 
  • A pattern of unstable romantic relationships

4 Signs Showing That You Have a Favorite Person

There are signs that show you currently have a favorite person. You should look out for these signs when trying to avoid unstable relationships. Someone else might tell you they feel uncomfortable about it, which is something to keep in mind when setting boundaries.

Here are the 4 signs you might have a favorite person: 

#1 Extreme jealousy

Seeing people give your favorite person attention might feel threatening. You could experience jealousy that causes rage and confusion. Being jealous over these small things is a huge indication that you have a favorite person, and you don’t want anyone else to feel the same way. 

The thought of that person forming other relationships may trigger intense emotions. This is because you don’t want to be alone or abandoned. However, everyone has dedicated family and friends, so it’s important to remember that before considering extreme actions.

#2 Constant need of their attention

A person with BPD requires attention from their favorite person. Receiving that loving support ensures they don’t self-harm or worsen emotional dysregulation. They need someone that can help them overcome paranoid thoughts and any fears about being abandoned or betrayed. 

Sometimes, wanting constant attention can lead to dangerous acts. That person might hurt themself or turn to substance abuse when seeking reassurance. Not everyone can offer the attention they need, which might convince a BPD person that everyone hates them

#3 Eager to please them

People with BPD may do anything to please their favorite person. They could buy them gifts, message them constantly, and ask to meet up regularly. This type of obsessive behavior could make a BPD’s favorite person uncomfortable and eager to distance themselves over time. 

Feeling eager means you want to keep a best friend or family member close. Those who have BPD tend to overthink everything about their current relationships. Of course, thinking too much about your favorite person might trigger more long-term anxiety and depression symptoms

#4 Changing emotions

A person with BPD will suffer from changing emotions every day. Certain mental disorders can make people confused when trying to take control of their feelings. Seeing your favorite person with someone else might spark anger, depression, fear, loneliness, confusion, and feelings of betrayal.

What Are the Signs That You Are the Favorite Person?

Being the favorite person can be mentally exhausting. Someone with BPD might need constant reassurance from you every day. Other common signs include intense declarations, moments of jealousy, and continuous messaging when you don’t respond.

Sometimes, people mistake being the favorite person for pure neediness. A person with BPD will directly state that you are the most important presence in their life. It’s essential not to pigeonhole them into a specific behavior or disregard their own personal feelings.

This role can be challenging and confusing when you least expect it. Giving them a little bit of attention could trigger a whole new attachment that becomes more unhealthy. Just remember to set boundaries, let them know what they’re doing wrong, and never communicate this over text. 

Below are signs you might be the favorite person:

  • They need reassurance from you only
  • They always declare their love and appreciation 
  • They message you more when you don’t respond
  • They communicate their fear of being abandoned 
  • They appear to be in crisis when you aren’t around 
  • They get jealous when you form new relationships 
  • They want to know everything constantly 

These symptoms may worsen if you go through a big change in your life. For example, getting into a romantic relationship or relocating to a new job could trigger their moods. This is because they’re worried about losing you and not having that comfort to support their mental state.

How to Stop Having a Favorite Person? 

You need to learn to redirect your attention and focus. Putting all of your time into one important person will only fuel your BPD struggle. Set boundaries when it comes to your favorite person by communicating your attachment issues and listening to their current personal needs as well. 

For more guidance on controlling your emotions, consider getting the Sensa app. You can use the mood journaling feature to document how you feel and behave around people. Studies prove that writing important thoughts down can help clear your mind of negativity. 

Sensa Health
Your calm mind assistant
  • Lessons based on the CBT method
  • Mood journal
  • Challenges & self-improvement activities
  • Quick relief function
  • Assessments to help you grow
Our rating:
4.5
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Sensa is all about helping people manage stress and emotional experiences. The app is made to be a mental health assistant for anyone seeking support. Some other features include cognitive behavioral therapy, Quick-Relief exercises, and assessments for health monitoring. 

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a science-backed way to improve your moods. There have been countless studies on how this form of therapy changes people’s mindsets. If you want to stop relying on other people in your life, try this popular feature on the Sensa app. 

What Does a Favorite Person Relationship Look Like?

The relationship can appear close and intense on the outside. People with BPD become dependent on their favorite person for constant support. This type of behavior could lead to jealousy and emotional control when trying to keep the other person for themselves.

Dating a person with BPD can be especially challenging. Their partner could be increasingly demanding love and affection throughout the relationship. A BPD person will “look into” behaviors that convince them of cheating, dishonesty, or lies about their commitment. 

Of course, this relationship doesn’t always mean romantic. A close friend or family member might be a part of that personal attachment. The favorite person will usually recognize the person’s mental illness and take precautionary steps to ensure they’re healthy and safe. 

Risks of BPD Favorite Person Relationship

A person with BPD can have poor emotional well-being when it comes to attachments. They might live in fear that the other person will eventually leave or give up. Over time, this creates unrealistic needs that cause both parties to feel especially overwhelmed and exhausted. 

Here are some risks of having a favorite person relationship: 

Emotional dysregulation: Many people with this mental illness can struggle to manage their feelings. They might want someone else to offer reassurance for their internal conflict. Not having full control over their thoughts could lead to chronic stress and health complications.

Constant jealousy: Sometimes, jealous feelings can get the better of a person with BPD. Seeing their favorite person interact with others in the same way can feel intimidating. Over time, constant jealousy turns into aggression, loneliness, emptiness, anxiety, and hatred. 

Neglecting others: People with BPD can neglect their hobbies and passions just to see their favorite person. They might avoid family members and friends as well. As a result of this mindset, life becomes chaotic and lonely, leading to an increased fear of abandonment. 

Compulsive habits: Being stressed and emotional could encourage compulsive behaviors that are dangerous. BPD is a key factor in making the person hate other people. Some of these compulsive habits might be repeated text messaging and requests for reassurance. 

A Word From a Psychologist

People who have a favorite person might need that emotional validation. There are times when intense mental pain becomes too much. This is a common reason why those with borderline personality disorder require external support that stops the common struggles of BPD.

The attachment can feel good for the first few weeks. However, constantly seeking attention from them will encourage severe mood swings. You can’t always ask them to reassure your emotional well-being or tend to your own emotions in terms of chronic stress and sadness.

Consider spending time apart or going for morning walks to clear your head. Regular exercise, like jogging and treadmill running, could improve your long-term mental health. Studies have proved that any form of physical activity will reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression.

You can also consult your doctor for medical advice. They could help you overcome an unhealthy attachment while monitoring your emotional needs. Remember that borderline personality disorder requires healthy boundaries and further professional support.

Conclusion

So, what does a BPD favorite person relationship entail? 

People with borderline personality disorder can easily become attached. They might find someone who connects with them and offers the best support. This encourages them to form an attachment that may become unhealthy, leading to complications with their mental health.

Sensa Health
Your calm mind assistant
  • Lessons based on the CBT method
  • Mood journal
  • Challenges & self-improvement activities
  • Quick relief function
  • Assessments to help you grow
Our rating:
4.5
Start Free Quiz Now
HR_author_photo_Edibel
Written by
Edibel Quintero is a medical doctor who graduated in 2013 from the University of Zulia and has been working in her profession since then. She specializes in obesity and nutrition, physical rehabilitation, sports massage and post-operative rehabilitation. Edibel’s goal is to help people live healthier lives by educating them about food, exercise, mental wellness and other lifestyle choices that can improve their quality of life.
Medically reviewed by Rosmy Barrios, MD
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